No one understands me, no one knows that i cry in my sleep. The world is so big yet i am sitting here alone. Friends and families are the only thing that i hold on to in life now. I don't want to lose everything. Not yet, not now. In the future, i think i will.

i put up a strong front. In front of family and friends, i smile to let them know that everything is alright. Non of it is true. Nothing was ever right, its just me lying to myself. lock deep inside me are memories that i yearned to forget , and inside everything is pilling up like a collection center for all the bad memories and emotions. I guess my heart could no longer keep anymore garbage, everything is just collapsing down. One by one throwing it back at me in the face. I'm breaking down, afraid to never be able to stand again.

I never knew myself. Am i the one who smiles and crack jokes to make people happy? Or am i the one who is just a quiet person facing the world alone? If anyone is reading this can you tell me what i am? i really want to know. I guess i am the quiet person who face the world alone. Smiles and jokes are just lies that you see from me. The cheerful Yu rong is gone, it will never be back. I have changed. Not as positive as before, being alone doesn't mean anything now. Its just like what we saw that day. One day, we may just lose our friends sitting alone at the foodcourt alone eating lunch. I no longer have the energy to look forward to the future. Yes i'm fragile. I can't face setbacks, do i have a choice? It was how i was made, i blame it on no one. I want to cherish every moment of my life too but its just too tiring smile and laugh everyday as if nothing has happened.

Love just hurts me more and more until i become what i am now.